Your first sexual encounter
by Eric Nevski
So, you have finally decided to go for it and have your first sexual encounter with another couple! The excitement is great, the sexual tension is high, the possibilities are endless. But how to make things go smooth and make everything happen to everyone's enjoyment? Well, there are many ways to make sure you will love your experience and remember it for a long time.
Before going to a party or a date where you are planning on playing with another couple, make sure to talk in details between each other about your limits, boundaries and expectations. Some couples prefer not to go all the way on their first encounter and it is something that should be talked about upfront. Make sure to set a limit on how far both of you are willing to go. Remember you should think not only about things that you yourself are comfortable doing with someone else, but also the things that you would be OK with your partner do with another person as well. Watching your partner with someone else is very different from having the fantasy about it, so you should prepare yourself that your partner will actually be intimate with someone other than you as you watch him or her enjoy it in front of you. Some couples set the limit on just light touching and kissing. Some set it at "soft swing" which is "everything but penetration". Some go all the way. Find what you and your partner are comfortable with and go for it.
Safe sex is another issue that you both should think about before your experience. Talk about it and determine what safety measures you would like to take. Most couples in the lifestyle use condoms with partners other than their own. However, it is different for all couples when it comes to oral sex. Some choose to skip oral sex with another couple because of possible risks of contracting STDs. Some couples decide to play orally only while males are wearing condoms. Some decide to not use protection at all because they know and trust another couple or are just willing to take a risk for a thrill. If you are going to a swing club, make sure to find out ahead of time if they provide condoms on premises or you should bring some with you. If you are going out just the four of you, make sure to bring your own protection if you choose to use any.
If you know the couple that you are planning to be sexual with that evening, try to talk about your and their rules and limitations before the encounter. Both sides should communicate to each other about everything from how far they are willing to go to how much protection everybody should use. However, some couples decide to not have set limits and play everything by ear. If you meet a couple that you have never seen before at a party and decide to play with them on premise, try to find out about all of their limits as much as you can before the play, so there are no misunderstandings during the encounter that can sour the experience.
Once you and your partners have picked the place for the encounter, it is sometimes hard to move from a friendly conversation to an actual act. There are many ways to segue into a sexual situation. Some couples prefer to do some activities before the encounter to get things rolling just a little bit. It could be by playing adult ice-breaker games which are available on line or at any adult store. Some prefer to go out clubbing ( whether to a regular or a swing club ) where they switch partners on the dance floor to get the sexual chemistry going. But most of the times, things happen naturally and on their own. If both couples are hot for each other, you will never even notice the actual move from the conversation to the action.
If you have decided or just didn't think of doing any ice-breaking activity, you can try going into a hot tub or a sauna where it is easier to get in a more sexual situation. Some couples agree ahead of time to start their encounters in separate rooms and then move back to the same room after everybody has already advanced into the sexual play with their new partners. Sometimes couples do not move back into the same room until the next time they play. That way each couple gets a chance to tell each other about their experiences before actually watching each other in the same room environment.
Even though it is never planned to be a part of the experience, it should be mentioned that most males at one point or another have difficulties that may be a result of anxiety or nervousness. When presented with a new situation such as having a first sexual encounter with someone other than your partner in front of that partner, many males may loose their erection. Needless to say, once that takes place, it only adds more to the already overwhelming pressure, and the expected results may never happen that night at all. It actually is very normal for many males. Does this mean the experience is over and everybody goes home? No! Your new partner will most likely understand and comfort you to relax and calm you down. Most males choose to make up for their softness with more foreplay and oral play. It is also a good idea to switch back to your regular partner and try to get something going between you two before switching back again.
Once things get rolling, the possibilities are endless. Some couples stick to playing with each other's partners for the rest of the night exploring different positions and paces. Some involve sex toys, dirty talk, food and anything else that can spice things up even further. Some decide to explore different combinations of partners. Couples with bi-sexual or bi-curious members usually evolve into a 4some where "bi" partners play with each other as well as the rest of the group at the same time. Some women like to try double penetration. Other combinations of 3somes can happen as one of the partners takes a rest or in some cases takes pictures or films the encounter. Make sure to check with your partners ahead of time if you would like to document your experience.
We hope your first encounter is satisfying to everyone involved and leaves a great memory for you to look back on in the future! Play safe!