Swingers guide
Must-visit swinger site: San Francisco / San Jose Swinger Personals
Closet Swingers
by Anne Curvey


It's a question that every swinging couple will ask themselves sooner or later: should we be open about our participation in the lifestyle or keep it to ourselves? Why are there no pictures on their profile? Maybe they are "closet swingers."

You are on BayCouples.com and you are reviewing profiles. You come across one of a couple that you are very interested in - they have a great write up, but surprisingly, there are no pictures. Why not? Why are they "hiding?"

Everything about the couple clicks with what you are looking for -- they are very descriptive on how they look, they have been swinging for a number of years, they are both professionals, they are both educated, they are in your age group and they seem pretty exciting -- compatibility is highly likely. The only thing you don't have a clue of is what they look like. Will they be willing to send you a photo if you ask for one? You're thinking, probably not -- there are a lot of fakes, flakes and time-wasters online and from personal experience you know that if they don't have any pictures, then they must have something to hide. Not to mention the last time you did the "no picture" thing, the couple ended being very scary looking. Your profile is complete with pictures -- why isn't theirs?

Although we live in the most democratic, free, liberal country on the planet, there are some of us that have things about our private lives that we still have to keep to ourselves. Are we really as open-minded as we say we are? It could be that the profile mentioned above is that of a "closet swinger." They are being discreet because they might have issues with their pictures being on the Internet and being related to swinging due to career, family and friends who might have a problem with their lifestyle.

We would like to think that everyone around us has an open mind and can understand our right to do whatever we want to do in our private life. But what if someone you work with saw your pictures on the Internet? That may be the reason so many subscribers have chosen not to have pictures posted -- in the same breath, there are many of us who do have our pictures posted and couldn't care less what our co-workers see or hear. So what if you swinging during your off hours, what business is it of theirs? Will they treat you any different? Who knows?

Swinging may not be something you want to share with your relatives -- they might take it the wrong way. But do we normally make a habit of discussing our sexual antics with our relatives? Do we generally announce to our co-workers what sort of sex we had over the weekend? Not! The issue with many people is, if they feel that being related to a swing site could cause them problems then it may be better not to have pictures on the Internet.

Just so you know, it is illegal for an employer to discriminate against you due to your sexual preference. As far as I'm aware that is everywhere in the U.S. A private lawyer would have a field day with anyone who would harass you because of your lifestyle.

Gays are coming out of the closet left and right, but swingers still have to be cautious. Why? You pay your taxes, you obey the law, and aren't pushing your lifestyle on anyone. As I said earlier, you don't have to broadcast that you are a swinger to co-workers, friends and family, but if they find out because they see pictures of you on a swinging website, then why not tell them? You have nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, what the heck are they doing in those sites anyway? It's your private lifestyle and you don't have to explain anything to anyone even if you have 20 or 30 pictures of you doing very nasty things to other men or women. If they can't accept it, then that is their problem -- its not like you are pushing your favorite pastime on anyone or trying to persuade them to become swingers. You are still who you are regardless. Being a swinger is not a disease and being in the swing lifestyle is not something you should have to be ashamed of or keep secret.

Choosing to be a "closet swinger" is your choice, of course, but it will greatly hinder your chances of finding and hooking up with other swingers, especially if you are a member of a swing site. Isn't that the whole purpose of being here?

 
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